It is official. I have left full-time employment at HMV.
For over a year I had been considering taking this step, but the thought of leaving a scheduled day and a secured monthly income behind in order to to what I had always want to do, was too scary. Handing in my notice was very nerve-wrecking, because it meant my decision was final. There is no going back. I was literally stressed! I lost my appetite, my skin went mental and I couldn't sleep. It probably didn't help that work wasn't doing too well anyways, with the administration and no real knowledge of what the future holds for the store and the company. But I knew I had to leave. I was losing patience with customers and colleagues (not as much with colleagues though) and the whole dynamics and atmosphere within the store had changed to something, I didn't quite feel as comfortable with as I used to, back in the glory days. And after a very comfortable 2 1/2 years, I am now "free".
Free and a little scared to death, considering the current employment climate. I know I want to go into filmmaking, preferably starting in production and then specialising in whatever I enjoy doing. As I am still at home (at 27, don't judge.), this was the best time to do this, too. I am hoping to get some work experience in by trying to get a place helping on other people's projects or maybe an internship, if I can manage to fend of the competition. And that's what I am most worried about: there is so much competition out there, so many people with all the right qualifications and/or experience! I don't want to have to go back to retail, because I know it will turn me into a very cynical and miserable person. I am socially not adequate enough to face the general public day in, day out. But I also don't seem to have the right experience/skills in order to do what I want to. It's a vicious circle with not having the experience and not being given the chance to gain the experience.
This is just a quick update on what's been going on. Limbo has ended for me, because I chose to end it. I will miss the great banter we had. I worked with some very great people over these years and hope we'll manage to keep in touch. Now I'll have to bag myself that entry level job within film production! Start a new chapter in life, maybe start growing up?! Maybe. I hope things will work out. It's scary facing the future and really not having a clue about what it holds for you. Fingers crossed!
Thank you for reading.
x ♥ x
